These are things that are good to keep in mind when consuming other people's business stories and advice.

  • I do not have workoholic tendencies. I do not automatically work at nights, on weekends. In fact, while being full-time employed I got good at drawing boundaries and keeping work (email/slack) out of 'my time'. Do I want to change this? Do I need to change this? Well, let's consistently work 35 hours per week first (so all 7 hours the kids are at school I need to work work mode, doing traction, deep work, GTD). After that, I can starting workin 1 hour at night and 1 hour in the morning consistently. Also talking to other founders counts as work. Reading and taking notes on biz book for indie book notes counts too.
  • I want to be present with R and C and also do projects for their benefit and introduce them to experiences and activities and teach them things and help them get into things (biking, swimming, reading books, art/craft projects like tie die, playing flute, juggling. kitchen projects. also chores and things). This takes time, during weekends, and during weekday evenings. (I don't think M will take the lead of this stuff as it's not about the basics and making sure they are okay enough. this is extra stuff, optional stuff).
  • I also want to have a life that involves exploring. Just exploring for the sake of it. locally going to different places and trying different foods. And also going to various national parks, learning how to camp on our own (or make friends with other camping families). Rent an RV and try that out. Travel within this country but also travel internationally. I want kids to have memories of outdoors, nature. (costs money). This takes time to plan and make happen, and also money (as I don't think M will take the lead on it automatically.)
  • parents, I have a responsibility towards my parents (because I like them and they have sacrificed a lot and I owe them). This costs me time, to do errands on their behalf (e.g figuring out all of medicare stuff, presciptions, doc appointments, other stuff there is always something many things). ┬áMore than time this cause stress and anxiety and worry. A constant worry about when something's gonna go down that will. They are only getting older and for the next 20 to 30 years or however long they live this will be the case. I went them to thrieve and not just survive. I want to them to be health, do things, have hobbies, spend their time by keeping physically and mentally active. Not be lonely. Find other purpose as Is. is getting older and will go to school and taking care of him and helping D. won't be a constant necessity. (Could I employ them someone in some sort of business endevour I do?...maybe in the next 3 to 4 years after CodeCurious is established, I can keep that in mind).
  • sister, many things have changed in the last 2 years in her life. She has a husband with a cronic condition which he'll have for the rest of his life. He is okay now and will start to work even. But anything can go wrong at any time, for his health. This implies health insurance will always be needed and jobs will always be needed. Will never be 'sitting pretty' worrifree, all good. (I thought I could 'help create peace of mind' for everyone at least financially by making the 4 to 5M and then have D not worry about health insurance at least and P&M also not worry about bills medicare doesn't cover and their living expenses. But that was too much pressure to put on my journey at this point).
  • How does that make me different than other founders? My being close to parents and sisters and caring about their overall well-being and worrying about what's going on in their life day-to-day does affect my time as well as mental space. Sometimes negatively, where I freeze and am not able to make forward progress on my business things (e.g in August after the whole unpleasantness with D ignoring me after telling P to tell me to take care of his presciption refill with Sanjeev. I have to admit how majorly that negatively effected me.)
  • What can I do about all this family worries and attachments - prey daily for everyone's wellbeing. And also allocate time when I do P&M things, evenings or weekends when possible. Protect te 7 hours --> 35 hours minimum!
  • Things that other people may care about that I don't - buying fancy cars like a tesla, or buying a beach house in california. Don't care for all that. Other problems I don't have - childhood that requires you to see mental health professional regulary. Needing to find someone, that is one all-consuming project that I've graduated from in life. Need to just keep putting in the work, time, communication needed to maintain a marriage indefinitely.

Overall insight - All the other family and kids and life stuff evens out (in comparing to other people. Other people's week might not get thrown off by having to order presicption and make blood test appointment for their parents. But they may also not have the unconditional love and support of people who raised them so yeah. A lot of entrepreneurs don't really talk about their parents). The key takeaway from this writing exercise is that raw hours put in to business matters. Other successful people just put it more raw hours than I do (or have been able to in the last 2 years, but in general I don't ever recall working hard for 40 hours straight while employed). Raw hours counts, and making every single one of those hours count, doing 'deep' work, setting it up for traction. working on one thing. It matters, it really matters. Doing actual work or enough number of hours each week or long enough, couple years!

Also I need to make it so that people around me know I am taking my business seriously (mainly M and also M's parents if they come to visit). What signals would communicate that I'm not 'free' or I can't just 'take the week off', 'oh don't work bhumi'. Yeah! I am bothered by these assumptions and comments for good reason. So how do I solve this? What things imply serious company, Bhumi is busy running her business, she has responsibilites and her time is not 'free'. Maybe incorporate CC, LLC. File taxes seperately. Hm..maybe. Send 'investor update' type emails to family members about the work I have put out. Blog posts, YT videos, etc. Also communicate what I am trying to do, this is tricky as I don't actually want to get ahead of myself or make plans too far into the future. I want to say what I have already done. Also the content business is trickier to explain vs. a software business. Too early, but I do wan to be in a position to do communicate this kinda stuff to parents, M's parents, D and Payal in the next 2 months time (end of Q1).

My own mindset - what does it mean to take it seriously (also I don't want to be afraid of making plans and being aggressive anymore. flip that switch from covid days. Yes stuff can happen, kids can get sick, we can get sick, family can have problems but that's no way to live, in worry. When stuff happens I will adjust, otherwise push forward!).  Treat it like a real business vs. projects or experienment I'm doing. One thing is to have customers or other partners, stakeholders. Make it like a real job - find and communicate equivalence for boss, co-workers, meetings, deadlines, milestones, release calendar, commiting/shipping.

  1. schedule meetings with potential customers and partners daily - to get feedback from other developers or informal chat with developers about Rails or how they do things and learn things in general.
  2. for deadlines - have a publishing calendar and tell people in WC about it and stick to it and share every time a publish blog posts or videos in WC. keep it sustainable but 2x per week at least!